While getting back together with an ex at times seems like the safest thing to do, and might even work at other times, it’s often a bad idea. Why? Well because while it might be that you know the guy, you once had chemistry and the thought that this time around it might be different make for a most compelling argument, the nays outweigh the yays I think. Here’s why:
- The doubts
It takes time to be fully convinced that this time around, this ex of yours is for real. And what is frustrating is that you have no way of knowing that he actually is for real. If everything seems alright at first, what if he’s faking it? And if everything doesn’t seem alright? What if you are just being paranoid. Talk about unnecessary emotional turmoil.
- The trust issues
There is obviously a reason why the two of you broke up in the first place. Regardless of who broke up with who, there is always the issue to do with trust. Can you trust him to love you again? Can you trust him to not ever cheat on you again? Can you trust him not to break your heart again? Can you trust him? It’s sad that while trust is seemingly a simple thing, it’s important enough that it has to be earned and once betrayed, it takes almost twice as much effort to rebuild.
- Why are you limiting yourself?
Did you know that there is an endless list of men right now who would do anything to have you? Think of those you’ve friend zoned, your crushes and the ones who like you but whom you just haven’t given a chance. Why are you narrowing your experience? Explore the endless possibilities at your disposal! Have fun and enjoy life man! The stresses that come with restarting an old relationship just aren’t worth it to be honest. Compare with a new relationship for example. You don’t know the guy, it’s exciting because you get to to do different things and even though you can wonder if it will last, the stakes aren’t as high as that of a “rekindled” love. Yes rekindled in brackets because at the end of the day you need to be sure if indeed it has been rekindled or if it’s all just in your head.
- An old dog hardly changes
The sad thing about mankind is that they hardly change. They can make you believe they have but it most of the times won’t take much to get that old guy back. So if that is the case, if you broke up because he didn’t give you enough attention, didn’t call you as much as you would have liked if at all, didn’t spoil you enough, cheated on you, beat you up, and a whole list of other reasons, what makes you think the months or few years you’ve been apart have changed anything?
- Most times they just wanna take you for a ride
As twisted as it sounds it’s true. I don’t know what’s wrong with men you know. You would think they take a special kind of joy from simply seeing that they still know which buttons to press. And if they see that you’ve been doing pretty good without them, it’s even more dangerous to be around that kind of guy.
However, not all rejuvenated relationships fail. Some blossom in a most beautiful way you wouldn’t believe the couple almost broke up for good. And the secret is to treat the relationship as a new one and as if you don’t even know the guy, because trying to bring back what was there won’t work. So what do you do? Unfortunately where matters of the heart are concerned, it’s either you choose to not go for it and avoid the risk of possible heartbreak and disappointment or you choose to go for it and risk the very possible risk of all manner of pain.
You could almost wish there was a tried and tested way to going about all this isn’t it?