How to Ignite the Spark and Kill Boredom in a Relationship


Monotony is something one cannot run away in life be it in a relationship or work. In one way or the other everything always becomes too boring, with time.

Why am I saying this? There are many people who say they do not want to settle down with one person just because it is boring to have one partner in life. However, that is something one cannot run away from. Whether you decide to have as many partners as possible, you will eventually get bored of them because in a way, it will have become monotonous.

Let say you meet Girl X and you decide to date maybe because she is too hot or sexy or rich. One month passes, the second month and on the fifth month, you realize she is now boring probably because you have had enough of her or she no longer looks pretty as before. You want to know why you think that way? It is because you have gotten used to her prettiness that you now see it as normal and it is no longer exciting as before.

So you decide to get another girl and the same happens. Then you date another and another and another. Eventually that dating method will also become monotonous and you get bored of it.

At the end of it all, whether you keep changing girls like you change a pair of shorts, that will eventually get boring. And what will you do?

People should know that there are things in life you cannot run away.  There are things beyond our reach or making because that’s how God created them.

Spice Up Relationship

Here is my advice on how to overcome all that boredom. Just decide to date one person, when you realise he/she is the right person, settle down with them and think of ways you can always spice up your relationship to keep it exciting.

Author and sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD says in every relationship, “Once you move out of the infatuation phase, the spice usually starts to fade.” However, you have to improvise ways to spice it up again.

So what can you do to bring back that strong, intense connection? How can you ignite the spark again?

Below are some of the tips Dr Kerner suggests;

When you embrace your man/woman, how long do you usually stay entwined? A few seconds? Next time, hold on a bit longer. “When you hug for at least 20 seconds, it increases levels of [the hormone] oxytocin in both men and women and makes you feel closer.”

It is advisable to clean out your bedroom when you want to spend some time alone with your partner so that you don’t have any roadblocks to seduction. Sexologist and relationship expert Logan Levkoff explains that seeing a picture of your children or mother-in-law could definitely ruin the moment—or prevent you from getting in the mood in the first place.

Sexologist and author Yvonne Fulbright, advises couples to always make it a priority to send a sweet email, sexy text message or some other little gesture on a weekly basis.

For the ladies, it is advisable to tell your man exactly what you want or do not want “A reason men don’t do things is because they fear getting it wrong,” says Logan. “Women have to understand that men feel pressured.”

Dr Kerner also says that mystery can create romance in a relationship. He adds that because long-term relationships are based on trust, dependability and predictability, mystery can create the romance you’re missing. “Sometimes I tell my husband to expect a ‘surprise’ after the kids go to bed. The anticipation alone keeps him excited all day long,” says Eunice Carreira of Kaneohe, Hawaii.

So ladies and gentlemen, please try and spice up your relationships if you want to get rid of the monotony (boredom) in your relationships.


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